Seeking Glory

Life is never static. Just when you think you finally have everything under control, that illusion is shattered…and the life you once knew has spun off in unimaginable directions. Seeking Glory is an eloquent novel that explores the complexities of family relationships. With themes of loss, recovery, estrangement, and reconciliation woven throughout, it tells the story of a woman who seeks to uncover the truth about her young granddaughter’s origins.

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By the time night fell, the storm was upon them in earnest, the wind pushing against the house with enough force to make it shudder and emitting a high pitched wailing that reminded Kate of the banshees in her Irish grandmother’s stories. The electricity failed early, throwing them into utter darkness in the middle of a DVD of lighthearted children’s cartoons. Kate had cursed softly to herself, feeling Glory stiffen in her arms; she had hoped they would be spared this until the little girl was safely asleep in her bed. Glory seemed even more anxious once Kate started lighting candles and seemed to relax only slightly when Kate exchanged them for a pair of glassed hurricane lamps and a flashlight, using the latter to read Glory Little Golden Book stories while wrapped in a blanket in the big rocking chair.

As the night wore on, Kate did her best to maintain a sense of calm and control, a forced attention to the frolicking animals, princesses, and bright eyed children in the stories, but she could not help but hear the creaks and groans of the windblown trees followed by the sound of branches snapping, all of it overlaid by rain dancing a frantic beat on the roof and windows and know that Glory was listening as well. Finally, after what seemed an eternity of story reading, Kate felt Glory relax into sleep, fingers still curled around the locket that hung from her neck, no doubt lulled by the endless repetition that had threatened to cause Kate to doze off along with her. Kate shut off the flashlight, fearing the batteries were about to give out anyway and sat in the flickering light of the hurricane lamps, staring as shadows danced across the walls, seemingly in time to the continued wails of wind and rain beyond them. A few minutes, Kate thought drowsily, I’ll give her a few minutes to fall well and truly asleep and then I’ll carry her in and put her to bed, maybe in my room so that if she wakes up and is scared…

Kate thought she was still watching the shadows but the dark dancers were only in her dreams as head dropped back against the rocking chair’s cushioned headrest, her breathing slowing and becoming more rhythmic. The shadows changed shape and became tall dark pine trees waving peacefully on a windy starlit night. Kate found herself walking along the street that led to the beach dressed for a day in the sun and surf except for the fact that it was night. Next to her, clinging to her hand as she strolled along, enjoying the warm breeze, was Glory, clutching her pail and shovel and moving along in excited little skips. She looked up at Kate, eyes wide and filled with delight. “Can we build a castle? Will you help me, please?” Kate looked down, a thrill of joy passing through her. “Glory! You’re talking!” As soon as the words were spoken, Kate realized her mistake. “Ally!”

“Come on Mommy, please say yes.”

Kate hesitated. “Yes, of course, darling. But you have to promise to stay on the sand this time.”

Ally looked up at her, her face obscured as they moved into a dark canyon between houses but her eyes were shining in her small face. “Yes, Mommy, I know you want me to stay on the sand.”

Suddenly the beach lay ahead of them, the sand silver in the light of the stars, which were now joined by an enormous full moon, hanging low in the western sky. Beyond the sand the ocean, heavy and black, heaved its big white breakers onto the glistening beach. Further away, Kate could see the great body of water throwing itself against the rocks of the jetty, the spray leaping into the air, sparkling in the light of the moon and stars. Kate paused, fear trickling down her spine, but Ally tugged hard on her hand. “Come on!” Ally continued to pull impatiently at the end of her fingers, a shadow dancing in the dark. Finally, Kate was persuaded to move forward, her legs leaden, the happy pleasure of the beach visit gone. She struggled along in the sand next to her exuberant daughter until they were reached the wet sand at the ocean’s edge. Kate felt a sob rise in her throat as Ally broke away as she had so many times before, running, running toward the jetty, Kate pursuing, helplessly trying to call her back.

Ally reached the rocks, climbing up them, nothing more than a dark outline in the distance. Kate waded into the churning ocean, realizing that the stars and moon were gone and, as always, the storm was upon them, fiercely lashing them both with water from above as well as below. Kate caught sight of Ally leaping nimbly across the rocks as lightening lit up the sky but by the time she herself was up on the jetty, fighting to maintain her balance, it was pitch black. Kate strained to listen but the roar of the wind and ocean obliterated everything else. Suddenly the lightening zigzagged across the sky a second time illuminating the scene before her. As it did Kate let out a scream for she was perched at the very edge of the last rock in the jetty and a grown up Ally stood in front her, drenched in rain, eyes wide and feverishly bright. Ally reached for Kate in seeming desperation but she was swept off the rock by the gale before she could touch her, disappearing into the waves, her voice echoing back “Glory! Glory!”

Kate jerked awake with a gasp, her eyes at first unable to make sense of her surroundings. As her heartbeat slowed, she realized she was staring into the inky blackness of her living room with the hurricane lamps at its center, still casting a pale glow around them, their wicks burned low. Kate glanced down as Glory stirred restlessly on her lap, whimpering softly in her sleep, caught in dreams of her own. Kate listened for a few seconds, hearing the steady beat of rainfall and the restless wind, then carefully lifted her granddaughter, flashlight in one hand, and carried her into the bedroom and laid her gently on the trundle bed. Kate watched until Glory had settled herself back into a quieter sleep, chest falling and rising in the dim glow of the flashlight before slipping back into the living room.

Kate stood uncertainly in the darkened room for a moment, listening again to the storm, thinking that, despite the relentless rain and wind, the worst was over now. She picked her way through the shadowy outlines of furniture to the bay window, wondering how close it was to daybreak and whether she could legitimately avoid going back to sleep and the possibility of another repetition of the dream. Pulling back the curtains, Kate saw with a sinking heart that the world beyond was still in total darkness and that, as her eyes strained toward the eastern horizon, she could see no hint of coming dawn. She was ready to turn away when lightening flashed, illuminating a street and yard drenched in running water and littered with leaves and tree branches, at least one of the scrub pines from Fran’s front yard lying across the road. At the same time, Kate was startled to see a solitary, unfamiliar car parked along the grassy verge just beyond Fran’s house and directly across from her own. In the brief seconds of light, before the lightening flash was extinguished and the boom of thunder sounded, Kate could have sworn someone was sitting in the car, watching her. She jumped back from the window with a smothered scream, letting the curtain fall and dropping the flashlight, extinguishing its light. Kate groped for it fruitlessly in the dim light of the lamps and then stood, heart pounding, against the edge of the window, looking around the curtain and into the blackness, seeing only the rain as it pelted the glass. Kate waited, forcing herself to breathe slowly, counting the seconds until the flash came again, further away this time but still throwing the scene into a relief of electric blues and black. Once again the car’s distinctive outline was illuminated but if there was someone inside this time Kate couldn’t see him–or her.